The Inner "Second Voice"
Earlier this year I attended a college alumni event where my classmate, Claire, asked me how I hear my inner voice and how it impacts my creative process. Claire’s question sparked a sense of excitement to try to put pen to paper on something that is often so difficult to describe. Rather than tirelessly attempting to do that, I thought I would turn to my inner voice, which I call my “second voice,” and see what it would want to share.
Here is what I heard as I sat in my garden.
As soon as I ask myself “how might I describe this concept”, up jumps the “first voice”, that quick-witted one that is always ready to provide an answer at a moment’s notice, lest I be left “not knowing” something for two seconds! The “first voice” tells me to “just explain the concept and break it down so people can understand it.” It’s so logical, so rational, and quite expected.
As I sit for a minute longer, allowing my awareness to drift from my head down to my gut, I arrive to a quieter place that doesn’t immediately speak. Is anyone home? Did I take a wrong turn? Then from the void sounds a “second voice”, one I have to lean in to hear. It speaks to me through the hummingbird that just whizzed by, its green feathers glinting in the early light. It speaks to me through the bees, busy collecting their pollen.
I have no idea where this voice will lead me. I can never predict how it will speak to me or what it will say, and yet I fully trust it.
I know that it leads me down a path beyond my wildest dreams. Experience has shown me that it’s my greatest companion.
I used to distrust it, ignore it, even drown it out with the voices of others who I thought were far more “knowledgable.” I wrestled with it when it told me to decline my admission to business school. I feared it when it told me to leave Lyft with no future plans other than a plane ticket to Germany, a decision that made no financial or career sense. I flirted with it as I let myself be whisked around the world, living with friends in Kenya and finding myself at Burning Man. Then one day, I finally decided to follow it as it called to me loudly from the most unexpected of places, Netflix.
I remember sitting on my couch in Oakland, California, in 2017 as the first episode of Chef’s Table came on. As the scenes unfolded, I felt my hairs stand on end and tears well up in my eyes. I felt alive! For weeks afterwards, I made this pilgrimage to my couch, tea in hand, allowing the worlds of the incredible chefs and farmers to unfold before me. My “second voice” had me in its tractor beam, and I loved it.
In that moment, I decided to live in service of this voice- one I didn’t understand and yet knew had my best interest at heart. I asked this voice what next step I might take. In the simplest of whispers it said, “reach out to the people in this show.” Off I went to email the closest chef from the show I could find, Dan Barber at Blue Hill in NY (then a top 50 restaurant in the world with a sustainable farm on-site). It was time to move on from the couch.
How could I know in that moment that this voice would lead me into Dan’s kitchen, where I witnessed some of the greatest chefs in the world make their art?
How could I have known that it would lead me to form a lifelong friendship with Jason, the Farm Director, and that we would go on to form a business together- a business that would allow people to visit farms across the United States? How could I have known that it would lead me to live on a shared property next to my friends, where we would raise families together- the same property that I write this article from as I look out over the garden? My second voice continues to lead me down paths beyond my wildest dreams.
I could go on and on about the adventures this voice has led me to. Given the role it has played in my life, I am curious if you too hear an inner voice and how you relate to it? Do you find it supportive? Inspiring? Critical? I believe that even exploring these questions is invaluable. There is so much more to say about the inner voice, but I’ll end with a quote from someone who has written an entire book on the concept—the psychologist Ethan Kross and his book titled Chatter:
“Despite of the inevitable pain that comes with life, it also endowed us with a voice in our head, capable of not only celebrating the best times, but also making meaning out of the worst times. It is this voice, not the din of chatter, that we should all listen to.”
In Practice
If you would like to apply this in your own life, try this simple practice: ask yourself a question, any question, and notice what immediately comes up (your first voice, or as Ethan Kross calls it, “chatter”). Wait a minute longer, allowing your attention to focus on the area of your gut. Notice what comes up now (your second voice). You may not hear words - it may instead come in as sensations, emotions, or in other forms. All are equally welcome.
For Further Reading
Chatter by the psychologist Ethan Kross.
